“We see her in that last minute of episode nine knowing that she has a lot of explaining to do,” Mayo told Parade.com in this exclusive interview. “She did not text her beautiful fiancé back when he was trying to tell her that the lieutenant position was about to be filled if she didn’t come back and communicate. So, I think a lot is going through her mind and through her heart.” It seemed as if Stella was ready for the next step in her career: to assume the duties of lieutenant, now that she has passed the exam, and she seemed a natural to replace Matthew Casey (Jesse Spencer) as the leader of Truck 81. But it turns out that Stella had doubts. “I think that she’s a scrapper, she’s used to working, she’s used to being in pursuit of something,” Mayo said. “And she realized that if she were to take this on now, she’s really realizing what all of that means. Especially at 51. It’s not just her becoming lieutenant anymore, having the title of lieutenant. Being the lieutenant of a company essentially means that if something happens it’s on you.” And while Stella would die for any one of her 51 family, she wasn’t sure she was ready for the pressure of leading them. In fact, Mayo tells Parade.com that Stella feels that there is more pressure on her to be excellent and to do good in a leadership position at 51 than she would experience at another firehouse. That said, she realizes that she has let Chief Boden (Eamonn Walker) down, who was her biggest supporter. After all, he was the one who sent her to a leadership camp, which was the first time she realized that she could be more. How could she ghost him? Doesn’t she feel like she disappointed him? “Absolutely! Oh, my gosh, I think 1000 percent,” Mayo said. “I think it’s kind of a self-fulfilling prophecy, right? She was so scared of disappointing him that she disappointed him. But also, honestly, I think that in her mind, she really does think that she’s doing what’s best for everyone else. She feels like she should take advantage of all of the different things that she can learn before stepping into the lieutenant role. She’s just grasping. She’s like, ‘I just want to make sure that I am absolutely 100,000 percent ready.’” Of course, she may never feel ready. Mayo compares it to people about to have kids for the very first time, and no matter how much they prepare, they are never confident that they are ready. “You could read all the books, you could go to all the classes, but the way for you to become ‘ready’ is to just do the thing,” she said. “Be willing to fail. And I think that Stella, for the majority of the time that we’ve seen her on the show, that’s what we love about her. She is so willing to fail, literally willing to die for others. And this is a situation where she really is afraid to fail.” As for her engagement to Kelly Severide (Taylor Kinney), Mayo feels that he is the love of her life, and she is hoping he will understand what she’s going through. “Here’s the thing. I think that in relationships there will always be, at least for her given her past experience with marriage and relationships, there’s always going to be that voice of doubt,” Mayo explained. “I definitely believe that Stella’s committed. Above anything and everything else, she’s in love with this man and she’s committed to him, and she chooses him. Even if she has a moment where she goes within and withdraws, she continues to choose him. And that’s what I would imagine a good marriage or relationship needs. You’re not always going to be sure, but what matters is if you show up, you continue to show up.” Fans may be looking forward to a big wedding with a white dress and the whole nine yards, and the return of Casey as Severide’s best man, but Mayo doesn’t think a big wedding is in the cards, rather something small and intimate. “I don’t think [a big wedding] is what Stella wants. But I think as an audience member, as a fan of the show, as me Miranda, I think it would be beautiful. It would be so beautiful to see Stella and Kelly do a big white wedding, but I just don’t think that that’s them.” Read on for Mayo’s thoughts on how she was surprised about the reaction to her absence and what she’s looking forward to in Stella’s future. Your absence was the biggest story that I had for the month of October, and it was still in the top five in November. Did you have any idea that it would cause that kind of interest? No. Honestly, not at all. It was a huge shock to me. I don’t know, I think I definitely have just gotten into a groove with the show and playing with whatever they give me. Then all of a sudden, you look up and it’s been six years and people are in love with this character. It just blew my hair back how much people missed Stella when she was gone. And so, I’m so grateful and overwhelmed. What do you see as next for Stella? That’s a great question. I have loved everything that the writers have given her so far and I have a lot of trust in their vision. I think that they really do see her becoming fully realized as a leader at Firehouse 51. So, by ghosting him, she forced Boden’s hand. He needed to fill the spot left empty by Casey’s departure, so he gave the job to Jason Pelham. Is there any wiggle room where Stella can fight for that job if she still wants it? I’m sure. I think that if he is a good lieutenant, she wants what’s best for the house. So, she is waiting to see. I think when she goes to meet him, she’s checking him out herself to be like, are you up to snuff? Which is hilarious. But, yeah, ultimately if she doesn’t think that he is right, of course she would be vocal about that. Now that she’s back, is she here to stay? Listen, Stella doesn’t want to go nowhere. Viewers missed you, what did you miss about being gone from Chicago Fire for so long? I missed being in my routine. You know what I mean? I missed seeing everybody on set. I missed working. How appreciative are you that showrunner Derek Haas gave you the time away? I love Derek. Derek has been the most wonderful showrunner and person to collaborate with and I really appreciate that. Chicago Fire returns with new episodes tonight at 9 p.m. ET/PT on NBC. Next, Chicago Fire Shocker: Jesse Spencer Says Goodbye to His Role as Captain Matthew Casey
